We all have an outward persona we show to the world, as well as the “real” us who lives inside our heads and our hearts. As a single person in the dating world, it can be frustrating to get past that initial phase where people tend to judge us based on first impressions, preconceptions, and physical appearances. It’s also difficult to have an objective perspective of what we’re giving off as individuals; and what exactly the outside world is picking up on in terms of our personalities. Since dating is such an incredibly emotionally charged situation, being aware of the types of attitudes which are most conducive to dating can be extremely helpful. The goal is not to change who we are, but to be the best version of ourselves that we can be proud of.
Attitudes for Successful Dating
1. Know who you are. All too often we worry during the initial dating stages about what to say, when to say it, what to do, and when to do it. The whole point of dating is to find someone you can be yourself around, and who appreciates the real you. Being confident in yourself and truthful about who you are from the getgo is extremely attractive, and will help separate the real connections from the false ones early on.
2. Smile! Have you ever been introduced to someone who didn’t smile at you? Consciously or subconsciously, this is an immediate turn-off. Most people want to be around those who are happy and positive, and they will judge you (rightly or wrongly) on this fact. Sometimes we don’t have any idea what our face looks like to others, so remind yourself to put on that happy face!
3. Live in the moment. If you’re worried about getting married and/or having children before you’ve even made a real connection with someone, you’re not focusing on the moment. It’s fine to have goals, but keep them realistic and don’t base all your actions on things that haven’t even happened yet or maybe never even will. Look at the person in front of you, enjoy getting to know them, keep your head in the now and base your decisions on what’s actually happening.
4. Stay in the driver’s seat. Relationship or not, you and only you have control over your own life. Know what’s important to you, what makes you happy and what kind of people you need in your life. You’re the only permanent thing in your own life, so take care of your needs first. This will keep you emotionally stable and happy, which are certainly attractive qualities.