A New Year’s resolution is a personal commitment to positive change. Oftentimes though, once the bells and whistles have faded from our New Years’ celebrations, the daunting task of the actual work involved in keeping a resolution overwhelms us. It’s important to choose something that’s actually attainable (not I will lose 50 pounds by March) – that way you won’t disappoint yourself. One smart resolution that can help you in all areas of your life, like dating and relationships, is to change your attitude. We’ve all heard about The Secret, positive thinking, how energy attracts like energy etc., and while some of us may dismiss this as New Age psychobabble, if you look at the effects of positive thinking and having a positive attitude, there’s really no argument that it’s the best way to go.
**Tips for a Positive Attitude**
1. Have you ever stopped to listen to your internal dialogue or “tape recordings”? These are the things you tell yourself in response to what’s happening in your life. For instance, if you make an honest mistake, is your internal dialogue saying, “I NEVER do anything right!” or is it saying, “I’m human, I make mistakes, I forgive myself and I know that next time I won’t make the same mistake”. See the difference? We are often so hard on ourselves that our self-esteem doesn’t stand a chance. Learn to listen to what you’re telling yourself. Write down all the negative things you tell yourself, and next to it replace them with positive things. This will take some time, but the only way to change it is by using repetition.
2. Help others. By bettering someone else’s life, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and that you’re contributing your positive energy to another. This creates more positive energy which certainly the world needs more of today.
3. Surround yourself with people who are positive. We learn by osmosis, and if you’re constantly surrounded by negative people, you will adopt those behaviors. Just as when you’re always negative, the people around you will be influenced by your negative energy.
4. Use humour in your life. Whether watching a funny movie or tv show, going to see live comedy or telling jokes with your friends, it’s extremely important to laugh as often as possible. It reminds us not to take things so seriously.
5. It’s important not to repeat the same mistakes in life and to evolve. Figure out what influenced you into being the person you are today, but realize that it’s up to you to move forward – you don’t have to stay tied to the past. Forgive yourself, forgive others and move on. We don’t always know why things have happened the way they have, and that’s ok. We don’t always see the big picture right away but eventually it makes sense, you just have to keep your eyes open for the lessons that are always there for the taking.
6. Be social. We are social human beings and we need contact with others on a regular basis. Your positive attitude will help knock down the walls that others put up, and make it easier to interact. Reconnect with old friends, and make new ones. Go on dates, take a chance and see what happens. At the very least you can learn something from each new person you meet.
7. Allow yourself to be loved. In this day and age we are disconnected from each other because of fear and the way our society is set up. Recognize love (whether it’s friendship, familial, or romantically based), and don’t turn away from it, because at the end of the day it’s what we need.
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