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Earlier this year, we found an article on the internet called "Which Sex is Pickier", detailing a speed dating study at Northwestern University. If you've tried speed dating with 25dates.com or any other company for that matter, you'll know that traditionally we have the men rotating from table to table while the women stay seated. The Northwestern study, in which 350 undergrads participated, had women seated for 8 events, and men seated for the remaining 7 events.
What they found was very interesting. Regardless of gender, whomever was rotating experienced more confidence and romantic desire (as indicated by… more
We do a lot of talking about love; wanting it, finding it, and keeping it alive once we have it. Like everything else in life, our personalities, past experiences, habits and perspectives play a large part in how we love. Our evolution as a society is also causing a melding of our cultures, and the way we meet each other, (internet dating, speed dating etc.) also allows us to explore relationships with potential partners we'd never have met otherwise, even 20 years go. This combination of peoples' love styles can create a beautiful love-song, and exciting mash-up, or even… more
Does it ever seem like the Dating world is a world completely unto its own, with its own rules, players, and most namely - games? When venturing into this hard-to-navigate, constantly changing terrain, we seem to enter into an agreement to play these games with each other, at least during the courting phase, and often further into a relationship.
While games were fun to play as a child however, the games adults play are far more manipulative, and involve our most valuable asset as the prize - our hearts. So why do we continue playing these games? It revolves… more
One thing we can be sure of in this world is our need to connect with others. As society and our lives get further fragmented, humans are constantly in search of new ways to connect with each other; through social utilities like Facebook and MySpace, as well as internet and Speed Dating. Unfortunately, with a society set up for personal gratification and acquisition, we can easily get disconnected without even realizing it. As with any problem, it needs to be identified before it can be fixed. Here are some common behaviors and emotions that indicate you're feeling disconnected:
Habitual… more
There are many effective ways to meet people these days; through friends, on internet dating sites, through clubs/sports teams, and of course through speed dating. The sheer ease and practicality of speed dating probably makes it one of the most effective - the success stories are proof of that. But what happens after you meet someone? As a disposable culture obsessed with the fairy tale endings we see in movies, we often believe a successful relationship is more about finding "the one" and everything clicking into place from that moment on. We feel that once we meet that… more
Do you ever see that couple who looks so in love and wonder what their secret is? How is it they seem happy all the time, affectionate, and just genuinely perfect together? Many people argue that a good relationship takes a lot of work, and while that's absolutely true, a big part of a couple's happiness is compatibility. As external factors such as religion, social status and family become less significant, and as we grow emotionally and consciously, our internal compatibility becomes that much more important.
The way we think about each other, and in turn treat each other, is… more
Most of us have been through a tough break-up at some point in our lives. The feelings of despair, hopelessness, sadness and loneliness we experience are often overwhelming, and often seem endless. Usually though, with the help of friends, family, and our undeniable human spirit - we eventually get over our heartbreak. We slowly pick up the pieces, put ourselves back together, and move on, hopefully stronger and wiser in the end. Sometimes however, we can't seem to "get over it". We can't seem to understand how the other person could have left us. We had so much invested in… more
No one ever said Dating was easy. Putting yourself "out there" takes a certain amount of courage, and finding that special someone can sometimes be compared to navigating our way through a minefield; we're interacting with people we don't know very well and who don't know us yet, communicating through the less-than-perfect art of body language, trying to be ourselves and retain our dignity while trying to find love, a state which can make us feel vulnerable at best. It's no wonder there are so many singles still searching these days, and things get even tougher as we get older.
… more
There are times in our lives, usually through crisis or trauma, or as the end of our lives near, when we're forced to confront our mortality and take a hard look at who we are, and who we've been. These life changing events can really show us what's important, what we need to work on and change about ourselves, and they can also clear up any confusion about where we want our future to head. Wouldn't it be great though, to know these things without crisis "showing" us who we are and how we feel about ourselves and life in… more
Some say romance is dead, and in our hectic world, for some, this may unfortunately be true. Like anything worth its salt though, romance, after the initial "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, takes effort, thought, and consideration to keep it fresh and alive. So what is Romance exactly and why do we need it? Romance is an expression and celebration of two peoples' feelings towards one another, it's the identity of your love. Doing romantic things for your partner shows them what they mean to you. What often ends up happening, is once we're in a committed relationship, we stop… more
These days, it's fair to say that as humans, we're evolving on many levels. Social and personal conformity has become less important, gradually being replaced by self-expression and individuality. Evolution is inevitable, and because it's now happening on levels of spirituality and consciousness, it can at times, be confusing and even overwhelming. Bridging the gap between the societal and familial expectations of our past with our present quest for self-discovery and personal happiness, has become that much more important in order to ensure balanced and successful relationships, both with ourselves and with others. So in lieu of all this personal… more
It's true times are scary right now economically. Many of us have had to make adjustments to our budgets and lifestyles to accommodate the changes in the economy. When there are feelings of uncertainty in our lives, it's a natural response to not want to go through it alone; our desire to date and look for love can be even stronger than usual. But contrary to this emotional desire, our "intellectual" side may be telling us to put our dating life on hold while there's a recession going on. At the end of the day however, wouldn't we all agree… more
It's easy when we're first attracted to someone, to let ourselves imagine them as that perfect person we'd always hoped we'd meet one day. Growing up in a culture where love is over-idealized in movies, fairytales and music, it's no surprise that we often let our imaginations eclipse the reality - that love is only one important ingredient in a successful relationship. Our emotional backgrounds, our culture, and our personal expectations all play a large part in the success of our relationships, whether we care to admit it or not. So what can we do to make sure our relationship… more
Finally, the first signs of Spring have arrived! And with this warmer weather, comes a sense of new possibilities, fresh starts, and renewed optimism, not only about life in general, but
about our dating life. So how are we doing on our New Year's Resolutions - did we follow through this year? If your resolutions were seemingly a passing fancy, the Springtime is a great time to renew our initial hopes and plans for the coming year. But how prepared are we to take advantage of any positive opportunities that may come our way? Now is a great time… more
In honour of the upcoming St. Valentine's Day - it might prove worthwhile to take a good look at our own relationship to Love itself. It's something we all seem to crave, it's often not what we expected, and it can take us to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows... Humans are a habitual species. We often formulate an unhealthy view of what we think love should be based on our past experiences. If we're conscious enough however, we realize we need to make a change. Because love is about relating to other people directly, it's in… more
New Year's resolutions are a good way to set goals for the year ahead. However, the success rate for these resolutions, according to a recent random telephone survey by Opinion Research Corp. of Princeton N.J., revealed that only 8% of North Americans achieve their goals. The main problem? Unrealistic goals met with unrealistic timelines.
Perhaps a different approach may be to realize that Rome was not built in a day - and that you will not achieve your goal within the first week of January! It's difficult in our society, which thrives on instant gratification and disposability, to… more
We're coming to the end of 2008, and if you find yourself falling into that negative headspace of "STILL" being single, we're here to catch you! We know love is possible, because we're lucky enough to have our clients tell us it happens! The fact that we can even be part of facilitating such a wonderful part of peoples' lives is a real blessing. We thought we'd relay a few amazing stories from around the world about true love, to help you keep the faith and bring a smile to your face - and to let you know that you… more
As we approach the end of 2008 amidst all the unavoidable holiday busyness, let's try to take a few moments to ourselves to reflect on the past year, and what it's meant to us. In our fast-paced culture, we tend to skip ahead without looking back, so before we start boldly proclaiming our New Year's resolutions, it's probably a good idea to think about how far we came in terms of our personal growth, and love-life, in 2008.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
1. What did you learn about yourself this past year? Was there anything that surprised you about your… more
Let's face it, after Valentine's Day, the Holidays can be one of the hardest times of the year to be single. We're inundated with images of couples, families with children, gifts ideas "for your loved one", not to mention thoughts of the dreaded 11:59pm on New Year's Eve! It can be difficult not to give into feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially when we're showing up to staff parties or family functions, sometimes being the only single one in attendance. The important thing however, is not to fall into a self-pity party! Being single is a stage most of us… more
It's not a secret anymore - online dating has become part of our daily landscape. From online personal ads to matchmaking sites with banks of profiles, to companies incorporating the online world with their in-person events like speed dating, more and more singles use online dating to help them find their mate. It used to be that people were embarrassed to mention they met their mate online; now, "We met online!" is a common answer when couples are asked, "How did you meet?". Some people swear by it and have had much success; others have tried it… more
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. Humans are creatures of habit, and it can be difficult for us to break out of our molds, especially when it comes to dating. Instead of just wishing things would change, it helps to identify our behavior, figure out why it isn't working and make a positive change.
Here are 5 common mistakes that singles make on their quest for love:
1. Having a bad attitude. Whether perpetuated by fear, habit or ignorance, having a bad attitude will get you… more
Commitment can be a tricky business. The more you learn about what it means as an adult, the scarier it can be - and not without good reason. When we first start dating or first fall in love, our concept of commitment is often not much more than a vague fairytale of happily ever after. Society tells us if we meet the "perfect" person, the rest will take care of itself. Humans learn from trial and error however, and it doesn't take very long to realize that relationships are hard work and commitment isn't to be taken lightly.
Committing to… more
Many of us find ourselves back in the dating pool when we're in our 30s, and not only wondering how it happened, but if there will ever be an end in sight. It's easy when we're in our 20s to imagine ourselves being married by a pre-determined age, with kids and the career we want, living happily ever after. Life however, doesn't usually end up the way we plan it. So what's the difference between dating in your 20s vs. dating in your 30s/40s? The only difference really, is ourselves.
Dating in our 20s
The Pros
Dating is… more
The first vacation with your new significant other is a milestone in your relationship. Not only is it a sign (and statement) of commitment, but it can really speed up your process of getting to know each other. As anyone who's ever traveled knows, when you remove the comforts of home and replace them with new surroundings and experiences, one's personality can't help but shine through - for better or for worse. Traveling demands a certain amount of flexibility; after all, you're in a place where you have much less control over your surroundings than you would at home. Because… more
Let's face it, there is an astronomical amount of media hype surrounding our appearances these days. The number of ways we're told we can "change ourselves" is infinite, and as the price of these procedures and regimens goes up, so can our feeling that we're not good enough. On the flipside, there are many healthy ways we can look and feel younger, which is something we all want, but it's certainly not necessary to spend oodles of cash on doing just this.
1. Get enough sleep. This may seem obvious or next to impossible, but not getting enough rest… more
When we first meet someone and experience that "spark" - nothing compares to that feeling of initial excitement. Have you ever noticed though, how it can take over everything and before you know it you wake up wondering, "How did things get like this?" All people have needs, and sometimes the need/want for physical intimacy can cloud our judgement and stop us from truly getting to know the person we're with. When one part of the relationship (like physical intimacy) moves much quicker than other (such as communication skills), we can be setting ourselves up for disappointment. It's important to… more
Some people are great conversationalists. Interesting things seem to just roll off their tongues, they never seem to be at a loss for words, but most importantly, they make you feel comfortable when talking to them. And if we look (and listen) closely, it's not even so much what they're saying but how they're saying it that makes their conversations flow freely. The whole point of conversation, especially in dating, is to get to know the other person and to reveal yourself at the same time. Let's look at a few simple guidelines which will help you get to know… more
Everyone has experienced the passion and excitement of a new relationship, otherwise known as the "Honeymoon Phase". You can't wait to spend time with each other, you start to think
about your future together, and it feels like you've finally found "the one" - you can't imagine your feelings for each other changing. Some of the time however, the Honeymoon Phase DOES end, and as the dust settles you get to know each other (for better or worse) on a deeper and more true level. Sometimes the person you thought you were dating doesn't even really exist, so… more
Most of us have been through difficult break-ups. Getting over the ending of a relationship is a process that can't be rushed - we all mourn in our own way in our own time. And while it's one thing to be in the middle of it ourselves, what about when we have to watch a good friend go through the pain and turmoil while we feel helpless on the sidelines? At times you feel bad for them, at times you want them to snap out of it so you can have your fun-loving friend back. It's a real testament to… more
Do you ever feel like the dating world isn't what you thought it would be? Initially, you start out excited and hopeful about finding that special someone, but somewhere along the way, it becomes a jungle of first impressions, dashed hopes and meager prospects. So what went wrong - is it you or is it them? It's easy to get bitter and jaded when things don't turn out the way we'd hoped, but if we can see how we possibly contribute to our own unhappiness (instead of blaming others or the situation), our experiences will change, or at the very… more
1. The Surprise Date: Save the surprises for later in the dating phase. It's great to be spontaneous, but when you're first getting to know someone it's nice to have a certain comfort level in place. It's important to find out some key things about your date early on to avoid awkward moments - for instance you wouldn't want to take a vegetarian to steakhouse, or someone who's afraid of scary movies to a horror film.
2. Brushing Off A Compliment: Many of us find it hard to accept a compliment, and end up brushing it off and putting ourselves… more
The word "aphrodisiac" comes from Greek mythology's goddess of love Aphrodite. The definition of the word is "a substance that arouses sexual desire", and although the scientific world is not convinced as to whether or not there are such things as natural aphrodisiacs, the general population has believed it to be true for centuries. Aphrodisiacs have been used throughout history to help infertility, spice up one's sex life, aid in seduction, and increase potency.
In ancient times, nutrition was very much linked to a person's sex drive because food was not as readily available as it is now. It… more
Of course nobody enjoys rejection, but some of us are able to handle it better than others. You see an attractive man/woman across the room, you're drawn to them. Do you go over and strike up a conversation, or do you choose the safe route and decide to stay put based on the possibility of being rejected? Fear of anything is a paralyzer, and it stops us from doing the things we truly want to, and from being who we truly are. So what IS the fear of rejection, where does it come from, and most importantly, how do we… more
With the world moving so quickly and everyone trying to fit so much into their lives these days, stress has become a social, physical, and emotional epidemic. We are stressed out by work, finances, family, relationships, health issues - the list goes on and on. We all know intellectually, or we should by now, that in the end all we really want and need out of this world is love. All the other things are physical manifestations of what we think we need, but they only bring us temporary happiness, if any at all.
When we try to date while… more
Let's face it - breaking up is hard to do. A lot us tend to strongly take on the identity of being a "couple" when we're in a relationship. Not only do others see you in this role (friends, family, co-workers etc.), but we often start to see ourselves as part of a unit and less of an individual. This can make the breaking up process doubly hard; not only do you feel like you're losing your mate, but you also feel like they're taking a part of you with them. Whether you're the instigator or the recipient of a… more
Let's face it, most of us live inside our own heads. We have conversations with ourselves, thoughts, opinions, belief systems and perceptions that make up who we are inside. How often though, do we think about what we're giving off on the outside? Some people have that gift of being self-objective and are able to see how others perceive them. For the rest of us however, there can be a bit of a disconnect there. We'll give you an example. We host a lot of single events, and meet A LOT of people every week from every walk of… more
Studies show that during interpersonal communication, only 7% of a message is verbally transmitted. That leaves 93% of a message being transmitted non-verbally - 38% through vocal tones and inflections, and 55% through facial expressions and body language. Often there is a discrepancy between the verbal and non-verbal messages, and experts say when in doubt - go with the non-verbal signals (what you are seeing). Body language is the oldest language in existence and it's universal; a way for us to communicate without having to attach words to what we're feeling. It's a great way to figure out how someone… more
Do you ever find yourself wishing your life had something more exciting in it? A person, an experience - anything to break the monotony that we often find ourselves in? Well, they say that wishing consumes as much energy as planning - and it's true - wishing really gets us nowhere beyond fantasies that seem so much better than what we're actually living. We've all had the experience of being in a "rut", when it feels difficult or even impossible to break out of our old habits, but a rut is really just a psychological phenomenon. So if life is… more
Everything and everyone evolves in this life, there's no fighting it. Technology, science, politics, the environment, human behavior and acceptance - everything changes and grows. The constantly changing world of 21st Century dating is certainly no exception. Society, especially in the big city, is more fragmented than ever; the family unit has morphed from the tried and true "Mom and Dad with 2.2 kids" to pretty much "anything goes". Our worlds tend to be very "me" centered, and with the advent of the computer we no longer even need to talk or meet with someone in person to successfully do… more
Sometimes, we live in our own worlds and have trouble seeing ourselves from other peoples' perspectives. It's a pretty common theme these days and understandable; we tend to live more self-contained lives when we're in the big city. So, we at 25dates.com thought it would be fitting to put together some Contact Email Etiquette to help you guys be more effective and progress to the next step - aka the First "Real" Date!
Contact Email Etiquette:
