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Dating Articles
We often hear stories about promising relationships getting derailed early on. While the breakup of an established relationship is often painful, so too is the end of a relationship that never really had a chance. It can leave us filled with regrets, wondering "what if", and often blaming ourselves for what went wrong. So what can we do to ensure we're not contributing to a relationship's demise before it even gets off the ground?
Tips to Nurture a New Relationship
1. Choose only those who are available physically and emotionally for the kind of relationship you want. If someone is… more
How To Get Closure from a Past Relationship
Most of us have been through a tough break-up at some point in our lives. The feelings of despair, hopelessness, sadness and loneliness we experience are often overwhelming, and often seem endless. Usually though, with the help of friends, family, and our undeniable human spirit - we eventually get over our heartbreak. We slowly pick up the pieces, put ourselves back together, and move on, hopefully stronger and wiser in the end. Sometimes however, we can't seem to "get over it". We can't seem to understand how the other person could have left us. We had so much invested in… more
How To Be Your Own Hero
The dictionary definition of the word Hero is, "a person of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities." Literature, movies, and history are full of them; they are people we look up to and idealize, they are our role models, and unfortunately we often see them as possessing different and unattainable qualities than we ourselves are not capable of having. Being a modern-day hero however, is not about fighting dragons, or hundreds of men singlehandedly - it's about facing odds, surviving battles (internal and external), and overcoming these challenges. They come out on the other… more
Negative Personality Types and How to Deal with Them
Have you ever met someone who rubbed you the wrong way from the very beginning? Given a bit of time, it's usually not that difficult to figure out why a certain person aggravates you; many people have personality traits which have developed into negative exaggeration by the time they reach adulthood. This usually happens as a result of low self-esteem; the person latches onto a method of coping with situations and people which give them a false sense of power. They are unable to show their true self, as they are unsure of who that is, and without personal awareness,… more
How Has Your Life Been So Far?
There are times in our lives, usually through crisis or trauma, or as the end of our lives near, when we're forced to confront our mortality and take a hard look at who we are, and who we've been. These life changing events can really show us what's important, what we need to work on and change about ourselves, and they can also clear up any confusion about where we want our future to head. Wouldn't it be great though, to know these things without crisis "showing" us who we are and how we feel about ourselves and life in… more
Are You Romantic?
Some say romance is dead, and in our hectic world, for some, this may unfortunately be true. Like anything worth its salt though, romance, after the initial "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, takes effort, thought, and consideration to keep it fresh and alive. So what is Romance exactly and why do we need it? Romance is an expression and celebration of two peoples' feelings towards one another, it's the identity of your love. Doing romantic things for your partner shows them what they mean to you. What often ends up happening, is once we're in a committed relationship, we stop… more
Are You Being Yourself?
These days, it's fair to say that as humans, we're evolving on many levels. Social and personal conformity has become less important, gradually being replaced by self-expression and individuality. Evolution is inevitable, and because it's now happening on levels of spirituality and consciousness, it can at times, be confusing and even overwhelming. Bridging the gap between the societal and familial expectations of our past with our present quest for self-discovery and personal happiness, has become that much more important in order to ensure balanced and successful relationships, both with ourselves and with others. So in lieu of all this personal… more
How Does Lying Harm Us?
Telling lies is something we've all done, and probably all do on occasion - some of us more than others of course. By definition, a lie is a form of deception, which contains three characteristics:
the liar intends to mislead or deceive, their lie communicates some information, and the liar knows what they're saying is not true. Morally and ethically, we all "know" lying is wrong. However,
the very fact that we classify lies into different types (bad lies, dangerous lies, white lies, good lies), means lying is not a simple black and white issue, and one with… more
Important Relationship Discussions
It's easy when we're first attracted to someone, to let ourselves imagine them as that perfect person we'd always hoped we'd meet one day. Growing up in a culture where love is over-idealized in movies, fairytales and music, it's no surprise that we often let our imaginations eclipse the reality - that love is only one important ingredient in a successful relationship. Our emotional backgrounds, our culture, and our personal expectations all play a large part in the success of our relationships, whether we care to admit it or not. So what can we do to make sure our relationship… more
Jealousy and How to Deal With It
We've all experienced episodes of jealousy in our lives. Closely linked to envy, jealousy, according to clinical psychologist Ayala Malach Pines, "is a complex reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship or to its quality". But unlike envy which usually centres around a desire to have something possessed by another, jealousy always involves three people, and a fear of loss.
The reason jealousy is such a complex reaction is due to the fact it encompasses so many thoughts, emotions and behaviors:
Thoughts: blame, comparison of yourself to the rival, resentment, self-pity, insecurity about self-image
Emotions: fear,… more
What is Healthy Communication?
Proper communication is one of the corner-stones of a healthy relationship. Like many of the fundamentals, it's a skill we tend to learn by osmosis as children, the level of that skill having a lot to do with who we grew up around. Children usually model themselves after their same-sex parent, and adopt many of that particular parent's characteristics in their quest to find their own person. These characteristics are often ingrained by family and societal dynamics, and stay with us into adulthood. This helps to explain why we see generations of men who are "emotionally unavailable", and generations of… more
What is Your Relationship to Love?
In honour of the upcoming St. Valentine's Day - it might prove worthwhile to take a good look at our own relationship to Love itself. It's something we all seem to crave, it's often not what we expected, and it can take us to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows... Humans are a habitual species. We often formulate an unhealthy view of what we think love should be based on our past experiences. If we're conscious enough however, we realize we need to make a change. Because love is about relating to other people directly, it's in… more
How Far Did You Get in 2008?
As we approach the end of 2008 amidst all the unavoidable holiday busyness, let's try to take a few moments to ourselves to reflect on the past year, and what it's meant to us. In our fast-paced culture, we tend to skip ahead without looking back, so before we start boldly proclaiming our New Year's resolutions, it's probably a good idea to think about how far we came in terms of our personal growth, and love-life, in 2008.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
1. What did you learn about yourself this past year? Was there anything that surprised you about your… more
What is Trust?
We all know "they" say trust is the foundation of any strong and healthy relationship. And who could disagree? Trust is that bond between two people which allows both parties to be themselves, and although it sounds like a no-brainer, it's not always easy to come by. Trust is "manufactured" through a few different factors, one being the element of predictability. As humans, we tend to think ahead in order to prepare ourselves for the future. Based on our experiences with other people, and observing and logging their patterns of behavior, we build an internal system which helps us "predict"… more
Dating in our 20s vs. Our 30s
Many of us find ourselves back in the dating pool when we're in our 30s, and not only wondering how it happened, but if there will ever be an end in sight. It's easy when we're in our 20s to imagine ourselves being married by a pre-determined age, with kids and the career we want, living happily ever after. Life however, doesn't usually end up the way we plan it. So what's the difference between dating in your 20s vs. dating in your 30s/40s? The only difference really, is ourselves.
Dating in our 20s
The Pros
Dating is… more
Tips for Surviving Your First Vacation Together
The first vacation with your new significant other is a milestone in your relationship. Not only is it a sign (and statement) of commitment, but it can really speed up your process of getting to know each other. As anyone who's ever traveled knows, when you remove the comforts of home and replace them with new surroundings and experiences, one's personality can't help but shine through - for better or for worse. Traveling demands a certain amount of flexibility; after all, you're in a place where you have much less control over your surroundings than you would at home. Because… more
How To Assess Your Relationship
When we first meet someone and experience that "spark" - nothing compares to that feeling of initial excitement. Have you ever noticed though, how it can take over everything and before you know it you wake up wondering, "How did things get like this?" All people have needs, and sometimes the need/want for physical intimacy can cloud our judgement and stop us from truly getting to know the person we're with. When one part of the relationship (like physical intimacy) moves much quicker than other (such as communication skills), we can be setting ourselves up for disappointment. It's important to… more
What Is The Point of Being Single?
Being single is not usually our first choice as a relationship status. As human beings, we crave physical and emotional affection and we get lonely when we don't have a partner to share things with. To make matters worse, doesn't it seem when you're single that everyone in the world seems to be in an amazing relationship except you? We tend to notice and think about the fact that we're alone a lot when we're on our own, and it's hard not to feel sorry for ourselves when we're in this state of mind. We know by now though, that… more
Are You Dating The Wrong Person?
Everyone has experienced the passion and excitement of a new relationship, otherwise known as the "Honeymoon Phase". You can't wait to spend time with each other, you start to think about your future together, and it feels like you've finally found "the one" - you can't imagine your feelings for each other changing. Some of the time however, the Honeymoon Phase DOES end, and as the dust settles you get to know each other (for better or worse) on a deeper and more true level. Sometimes the person you thought you were dating doesn't even really exist, so how… more
How To Help Your Friend Through A Breakup
Most of us have been through difficult break-ups. Getting over the ending of a relationship is a process that can't be rushed - we all mourn in our own way in our own time. And while it's one thing to be in the middle of it ourselves, what about when we have to watch a good friend go through the pain and turmoil while we feel helpless on the sidelines? At times you feel bad for them, at times you want them to snap out of it so you can have your fun-loving friend back. It's a real testament to… more
Bad Boys
Men and Women alike have been perplexed through time by the magnetism of the "Bad Boy". As a good guy, you wonder how you can possibly compete with this cocky archetype, and as a woman you wonder why you would put yourself in such a no-win situation. As with all human relations, the combination of natural instinct and societal factors can create a complex and confusing
circuitry through which we try to find that often elusive "perfect relationship". Many would argue that we experience relationships in order to teach us things about ourselves and if that's the case, what… more
Tips for keeping a new relationship on track
The beginning of a relationship can be one of the most exciting times in your life. You're filled with hope - the sun is always shining (and even if it isn't - who cares - you're falling in love!) and it seems like nothing could ever change the way you feel at this moment. We all know however, the honeymoon phase doesn't usually last forever, which is why it's important to stay grounded during the beginning phase of a relationship. In fact, the way things take shape during this time can also set the stage and foundation for your relationship's… more
What Do You Want Out of a Relationship?
Have you ever woken up in the middle of a relationship and wondered how you got there? Do you tend to date the same type of person over and over but never really seem to reach that level of happiness that you deserve? When you are unsure of what you want, and this goes for anything (career, life purpose, relationships etc.), you're probably not going to get it. Isn't it strange that we spend more time writing things on our grocery list than listing the things that could give our lives more meaning? Some may say making lists is clinical,… more
Are You Ready for a Relationship?
Did anyone catch the Bachelor finale recently? Yes, yes, guys we know it's our guilty pleasure and we don't expect you to watch it too, but let's give you the rundown. One attractive man. 25 attractive, and for the most part, intelligent women. Over a period of six weeks, the bachelor "dates" these women, eliminating a few at a time until he's left with two. By this point, he's met their families, they've met his, and he just has to
make that choice between the two. Easy right? Well not this time. On the final day, he tells… more
"Speed Dating":http://www.25dates.com Brings 21st Century Daters Back to Reality... And Finds Them L
Everything and everyone evolves in this life, there's no fighting it. Technology, science, politics, the environment, human behavior and acceptance - everything changes and grows. The constantly changing world of 21st Century dating is certainly no exception. Society, especially in the big city, is more fragmented than ever; the family unit has morphed from the tried and true "Mom and Dad with 2.2 kids" to pretty much "anything goes". Our worlds tend to be very "me" centered, and with the advent of the computer we no longer even need to talk or meet with someone in person to successfully do… more
