Life After Speed Dating

Sometimes, we live in our own worlds and have trouble seeing ourselves from other peoples’ perspectives. It’s a pretty common theme these days and understandable; we tend to live more self-contained lives when we’re in the big city. So, we at thought it would be fitting to put together some Contact Email Etiquette to help you guys be more effective and progress to the next step – aka the First “Real” Date!

**Contact Email Etiquette:**

# Make sure you remember who it is you’re writing to. If you think people can’t detect a “form letter” (in the case that you got multiple matches or matches with people you don’t remember), you’re wrong. Make notes at the event while speed dating to help yourself, and check their profile after the event for clues to remind you why you picked them in the first place. And PLEASE, make sure you address the person with their correct name – it’s game over immediately if you mess that one up!

# Help them out by making sure they remember who YOU are. If they’re unsure, they may choose to just ignore the email altogether. Reference some part of your conversation; “You might remember we talked about how we’ve both traveled to Australia…”, and you might also include a small tasteful picture of yourself if you don’t have one uploaded in your profile.

# Be brief and friendly, and don’t project any premature expectations; you’ve just met and it’s way too early to be talking about the future, beyond possibly meeting for a coffee or dinner. Give the person an option for methods of communication, so you can gauge the speed at which they’d like to proceed. i.e. “Perhaps you’d be interested in meeting for a coffee, or we could email for a bit to get to know each other, or you could give me a call if you feel like talking”. Remember you’ve only met this person for 3 minutes, so it might take some time for them to feel comfortable in taking your acquaintance to the next level.

Sometimes, we hear of a client not receiving a response to their initial email. There could be many reasons for this (as mentioned above), as well as people changing their minds, getting scared, or meeting someone else in the meantime. For those of you receiving these initial contact emails, try to follow these simple guidelines:

# Don’t over-think it! You picked this person initially for a reason. Exchanging email addresses is not a marriage proposal, and meeting for a coffee is not moving in together! Always keep an open mind and trust your first instinct; sometimes we need to take a chance and step out of our comfort zone to find love in these unconventional times. If you’re nervous about meeting someone you perceive as a stranger, bring a friend – go on a double date – but don’t cheat yourself out of possibilities you have no way of foreseeing in the first place.

# If you are sure you’re not interested in the person, please at least respond to their email. A simple and quick, “Thanks for your email, but unfortunately I’m not interested in pursuing the connection.” is sufficient. There’s nothing worse than being ignored and not getting simple closure, as insignificant as it may seem to you. Let’s try to show a bit of compassion to our fellow singles!

# If you can’t remember the person who emailed you, don’t be shy to ask them for a bit more info – ask for a photo. Explain that the evening was overwhelming and that you didn’t make proper notes. It happens and you’re human, but don’t be so embarrassed that you cause yourself to miss out on a potential great meeting.

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