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Deal Breaker or Second Date?

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First dates get all the glory. Our anticipation, worry, excitement and fears can all culminate into this highly-charged situation we experience with a veritable stranger. But after all is said and done, (and the date's over), the decision to go on a second date isn't always as cut and dry as we'd like it to be. In today's disposable society, we're certainly in danger of making rash decisions, throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater, not to mention judging others too harshly when they don't live up to our preconceived image of the perfect mate. But since we're dealing with people, as fallible and human as we are, doesn't it make sense to go through a logical thought process when deciding whether or not to go on a second date?

Deal Breaker or Second Date?

1. They under-tipped the waiter. This situation could mean a few things: they didn't like the service and were making a statement, they mis-calcuated the tip (math is not their strong-point), they're stingy with money. It's probably going to take another date or two to figure this one out. If you feel their generous in other areas, this may be something you can overlook. However, if you notice a pattern of stinginess and this is something that really bothers you, you may want to cut your losses and move on.

2. You have a bad first kiss. Because this is such an intimate moment, it can be a hard one to get over. However, kissing IS something that can be worked on! Different styles of kissing can often be the reason for a bad first kiss; people can get used to kissing a certain way depending on who they've been kissing, so there's nothing to say that the two of you can't find a way to synch up your styles. Simply communicating that you notice a difference in the way you kiss and asking if they'd be willing to try a different way can be enough to get you on the road to a great kiss.

3. You have different interests. This can actually be something fabulous for a relationship. As long as there's mutual respect for one another's interests, and a willingness to learn things you don't know about, you can both really benefit from your differences. Growth and becoming a better person has a lot to do with being exposed and open to things outside your comfort zone.

4. All they did was talk about themselves. First dates make a lot of people nervous. One very common manifestation of nervousness for a lot of people is to become a motormouth - especially when you add in the urge to impress. This is one situation that can be misread as arrogance and self-absorption. If you're not 100% sure - give the person the benefit of the doubt and try a second date. If they continue in the same way, you can then say goodbye knowing you gave it a proper chance.

5. My friends didn't like them. If your friends meet your date really early on and have negative opinions - remember this is not the most comfortable situation for your date to be in. Chances are they're going to feel somewhat self-conscious and that they're being judged - because they are! It's important to make your own decision about your date first, and then let your friends weigh in later. Letting others decide what's best for you is a very passive way to live your life. Only you know what's truly best for you.


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