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The First Date - What To Do and What Not To Do

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So you've met someone you like, the two have you decided to go on a date - you're happy, you're excited, you're giddy. You're also nervous, worried - maybe even doubting yourself - STOP!! We're here to help. There are some key guidelines which will help take that pressure off and soothe those first date jitters.

Planning The Date

1. Whomever asked the other for a date is usually the party responsible to decide what that date will entail. If you've met your date through speed dating, make good use of the personal profile feature to find out what your date might like to do. Come up with a couple of suggestions and run them by the person before the date, this way they'll be prepared and know what to expect. If they don't seem to like any of your ideas and don't offer any of their own, ask them to suggest something they might like to do.

2. It's important to keep your first date simple but fun, and remember that the point of going on a first date is to get to know each other. Try to stay away from choosing things that either put too much pressure on to talk (like sitting down for a dinner right away) or not enough (like a movie). Choosing a fun activity like a sport, museum, art show or city attraction can help focus the date and create something for the two of you to talk about and enjoy together. Also remember the date does not have to happen at night, but could happen in the afternoon on a weekend. If it goes well, you can always extend it. You don't need to choose something really expensive either.

3. Plan to meet at the location where you will have your date (if possible), just in case things don't go as well as expected. This way either of you can leave at any time. It's also a good idea to get to know someone first before inviting them to your house.

The Date Itself

1. Dress well and make sure you are well-groomed.

2. Maintain eye contact (men - please do not look at the woman's chest, it's a total turnoff) and listen to each other. Nobody is attracted to people who just talk about themselves, and your goal is to get to know the OTHER person, as well as sharing things about yourself. This situation is a true example of give and take and it's your real first impression. Your personality will be judged by how you act on the first date. Be yourself but keep in mind someone else is there too and they need to feel important and comfortable.

3. If you choose to eat on your date, do not eat anything that could be messy, smelly, or potentially embarrassing. Watch your table manners and chew with your mouth closed. Don't drink too much alcohol.

4. Avoid discussions about religion and politics - it's not a good idea to get into really personal issues before you really even know the person - it
could turn out badly if you have conflicting opinions with no background on each other to really understand why.

5. Do not discuss past relationships - this will only make you seem like you're not over your ex's and not really 100% into this date.

6. If you were the one who asked the other on the first date, you should pay. If your date tries to pay, stand your ground in a gracious way, as chances are they are just being polite.

7. Try to relax as much as possible and let your personality shine through. Something attracted you to each other in the first place so stay confident in the fact they are interested enough to go on a date with you.

Saying Goodnight

1. By this point you should be able to gauge how well the date went and if you are both interested in a second one. Discuss a time to call (perhaps in 2 days, or even the next day if it went really well), and stick to that time. Don't play games by making the person wait longer than necessary.

2. Go for a very simple kiss on the cheek - there's no reason why you need to go for a big smooch on the first date, and in this case it's better to be safe than sorry.

3. Keep your feelings clear that you enjoyed the date and are looking forward to seeing them again.

If you've made it through the first date, the next one will be all the more comfortable.

Tags: Date  kiss  attracted  good 


Oh, boy, I am still really nervous. But, this is good advice. First dates are always sticky, especially when I am really attracted to my partner.

I think first dates should be at a nudist colony. That way there is no hiding your attraction for your date and you both also know what you're getting!! lol Ok, I admit, I've never even been to a nudist colony...
shy nudist

I always try to remember to just be my self, and if it's meant to be it will. And if there's no chemistry at least you got out and met a new person. Chalk it up as practice and try again.
down to earth girl

I'm so nervous I really liked this girl for a long time and she broke up with her boyfriend and I told her that I like and were going to dinner I hope everything goes well we've been friends for a really long time so I hope she feels the same.
desperatly in love

This did help calm my nerves a bit and hopefully my date goes well but if it doesn't go well at least we tried and got out of the house for a while and who knows your next first date could go wonderful.

I do not agree with point number one. A man should not bring flowers on a first date nor should a women bring a present. It makes either party look like they are trying too hard. I remember a few years after my grandfather died, a man met my grandmother (who was 90 years old at the time), asked her out and brought flowers. I asked her if she would go out with him again (and he even had all his hair) and she said "No, He brought flowers on the first date and was certainly trying too hard"

I think you should just relax and take it easy. Don't act like you are going to a job interview. You want to be loose (no pun intended) and content. I think if he/she doesn't like you as you really are, then what's the point of going out with her later anyway? Don't spill all the beans on the first night (give him/her time to digest each one) Just try to think of all your good qualities, and try to express that casually.

I don't think flowers are a good idea on the first date. You have to rush them back into the apartment to put them in water and then the guy sees your place. Or if you meet up somewhere, what do you do with them? And giving the guy a small gift? What the heck do you give someone you hardly know? 'I made this just for you'...that will make you look real smooth.

Im excited iv liked a girl for yrs and finally found the courage to ask her on a date, she said yes, where do i take her? Movies seem so obvious ;( plz help
Clueless 17yr old

Take her out to a picnic on a nice afternoon.

I met a girl at a party a long time ago, and her friend told me that she likes me. Now 2 days i saw her again at a dance, and we danced together for a long time. I want to ask her out, but we are both in different highschools. When and where should i take her out on our first date???

Since I met this gal, she has always been on my mind at all the times. However, I finally asked her out for a movie and she accepted with excitement. Could that mean she likes me or just that she doesn't suspect my intentions. Should I make a move on my first date with her?

"needs questions" I would say ask her on msn, casually slip it into the conversation: ) cause you 1) don't have her number and 2) may not see her for awhile.
love guru

Hey i was wondering if i should actually kiss her on the cheek if the date is done. i'm only in grade9 but im not sure if i should. would it creep her out, or should i go for the cheek?

if your confortable then cheek! other wise give her a nice goodbye smile! maybe she'll give you the kiss on the cheek??? good luck!

I'm trying to get ideas and tips, because I've never been on a date before, and this guy at school asked me out. I'm still a little nervous, but this really helped.

I am 40 years old and really nervous about going on a date. These tips on a first date is a great help. It reminds me to relax and be myself, keep it light, and let my personality shine through. After all whatever is meant to happen will happen. Thanks!

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