Confidence Builders for Dating

Although dating can be quite exhilarating, fun and exciting, the truth is, it’s also a real test of our character. While it’s fun to meet new people and explore romantic connections, dating can also challenge us to deal with the more “unsavoury” aspects of our psyche, like rejection issues and low self-esteem. It’s a well known fact that potential mates are attracted to those with confidence, so it can be frustrating to see people with a natural inclination to meeting new people. But what about those of us who need a little help in the confidence department?

Confidence Builders for Dating

1. Exercise. Exercise is good on so many levels. Not only does it release happy and confidence-building chemicals like endorphins and testosterone, but you’ll feel better mentally and emotionally for having done something positive for yourself, as well as getting in shape. Get some exercise before going on a date or heading to a singles event; you’ll enjoy the result.

2. Access your natural confidence. Many of us are confident in some areas of our lives but not all. Think about what areas in your life you ARE confident in, be it your career, or a topic you feel somewhat “expert” about. Once you recognize those feelings of confidence, make a note of how your body and attitude differ from when you don’t feel confident. The trick is to hold onto your natural confidence, to “fake it till you make it” so to speak, when you do find yourself in an uncomfortable social setting.

3. Leave the past behind. Each new moment is a chance to start all over again. If you’re holding onto your past dating mishaps or childhood insecurities, it’s time to let them go once and for all. We have the unique opportunity as human beings to decide who we want to be at any time, so why not do yourself a favour and try acting like the best version of yourself? If you’re really having serious trouble moving on from the past, you might consider a bit of therapy to help you get over that hump.

4. Practice makes perfect. Life rarely has short cuts – we learn things by repetition. So you may feel uncomfortable at your first singles event after your divorce. But with each subsequent time, it WILL get easier.

5. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Cut yourself some slack, and realize that many of those around you are feeling the exact same way! It’s ok to feel a little awkward and out of your comfort zone, in fact it’s completely natural. Keep that internal dialogue going where you tell yourself you’re doing your best, and that’s all that’s required. Keep your expectations at a zero and just have fun dating!

Ragna Stamm'ler-Adamson