Dating a Woman With Kids

Dating a Woman With Kids: How to Show Her You’re Serious

You’ve fallen for her. She’s someone you could settle down with, and you want to show her in every way possible that you accept her children and see a future as a family. How do you prove to her and her kids that you’re serious about the relationship?

First, define your intentions to her. Then over the course of your relationship, offer sweet gestures that will speak to your intentions, keeping in mind that kids of divorced parents or single moms react in different ways to a new relationship. It often depends on their age; toddlers and younger children are typically more accepting of new relationships, while adolescents may have more trouble. Keep it real, and don’t do anything too extravagant — kids are smart, and they could perceive that as you trying to buy their affection.

The first step is to engage the kids in natural conversation. Find out their interests. Then take steps to act on their interests.

Surprise Them With an Adventure

One way to show your lady that you accept her children is to take mom and the kid/s on an afternoon adventure date. Toddlers and young children will enjoy going to the zoo, taking cookies to the local fire station, visiting a nature center or going to the park or beach.

Another idea is to take children or pre-teens to a theme park or state fair for some yummy food, rides and games. This activity is sure to invoke laughter, a necessary ingredient in building relationships.

For the teenagers, perhaps a trip to the arcade, a ballgame or the movies is in order, depending on their interests.

Actions Speak Louder Than Gifts

Actions always speak louder than gifts. By doing things like reading to toddlers, cooking dinner and helping with homework, mom and kids will see that you really do want to be an active member of the family — you’re not just saying it.

For a woman with a baby, learn the baby care basics such as diapering and swaddling. She will need as much help as she can with the little one, and if you do simple things like that, it’d prove that you are willing to care for her baby as if it were your own. Don’t know how to swaddle? Get swaddles from SwaddleDesigns — their blankets have swaddling instructions sewn directly to the edge — and practice on a doll.

Bring Small Gifts

Now, there is a time and a place for gifts, and kids do love presents. Be absolutely sure you are bringing a gift of interest for the child, though, or this gesture could go south. Give baseball cards if he is a collector or a pretty new journal if she is writer. That swaddle would be a great gift for mom. Bring something that shows you are sincere and have thought about their interests.

Never try to replace the children’s father, and don’t fret if the child initially refuses to bond with you; time heals all wounds, and they will eventually most likely warm up to you if you keep trying. Sometimes just being there is the best way to show your lady that you are in it through thick and thin.

Ragna Stamm'ler-Adamson