Rebound relationships are one of those things most of us have gone through, but we often don’t recognize that’s what it was until after the fact. When we experience the breakup of a significant relationship, it can often be jarring. Not only are we mourning the loss of an important person in our lives, but the loss of the future we thought we had, and the loss of time spent with someone else as well. It can be very difficult to now think of ourselves as single, to fill up those empty amounts of time we now have, and even to get a handle on who we are without our mate. Enter rebound relationships. When our self-esteem has been shaken, and when we feel lonely, often the easiest “remedy” is to jump back into another relationship. So what are the pros and cons of a rebound relationship?
1. It’s an immediate distraction that takes your mind off your ex. Instead of wallowing in the past you’re enjoying the present.
2. Your self-esteem goes back up because you’re getting attention again – this can help your quality of life in general, as we’re more productive and easier to be around when our self-esteem is intact.
3. It’s a sure-fire remedy for loneliness and boredom. Instead of sitting around waiting for something to happen, you’re living life and creating new memories.
1. Going to an outside source to boost your self-esteem never works in the long-run. If you’re uncomfortable being alone with yourself, it probably means you haven’t taken the time to really get to know yourself, or, you don’t really like who you are in the first place. If you think someone else is going to fix any of that, it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever be able to have a healthy or successful relationship with anyone else.
2. The time in between relationships is imperative to your personal growth. You need to take some time to figure out what went wrong in your last relationship in order to do better next time. Remember that in every relationship there’s an equal responsibility in the maintenance of that relationship. Dragging your baggage and bad habits into the next one is a good way to perpetuate an unhealthy pattern.
3. After the initial attraction, you’ll often realize you have nothing in common with your rebound relationship, because you’ve simply been projecting the feelings from your last partner onto the new one.
4. Being in a rebound relationship is a form of selfish behaviour, because you’re not taking the other person’s feelings into consideration, you’re only trying to make yourself feel better. Remember there’s another unique person involved who has feelings too.