There’s no such thing as the perfect partner. Everyone has faults, and that’s a fact. A serious relationship doesn’t mean finding someone who’s perfect, but rather it means you’ve found someone you can appreciate even with his or her flaws. But what flaws are so serious that they’re deal breakers? Here are some red flags you should steer clear of and eliminate in yourself:
There’re some people you just shouldn’t get involved with. Smoking cigarettes is an easy flag to spot (or smell) that might make you think twice. While moderate alcohol consumption is a common enough habit, and one that you and your prospective partner might enjoy, it’s certainly a substance that can lead to addiction. The use of illicit drugs is the simplest of deal breakers. Not only does it show potential addictive tendencies, but also a lack of responsibility and foresight for the person’s health and legal complications.
Financial debt shows a lack of responsibility. If your partner cannot manage his own money, is he responsible enough to handle a serious relationship? If your partner has substantial credit card debt, talk about why he has accrued such debt and how he plans on handling it. Of course, there is help out there for those in credit card debt. If you’re unsure what your credit score is, companies like LifeLock can help you determine what it is, how you can better it and how you can keep your credit report clean.
Stuck in the Past
Don’t talk about your ex. If you’re stuck in the past, how can you be present with the person you’re with now? The same goes for your partner. Of course, it can take time when you split from someone you care about, so be sure to give yourself some “me” time to recover. In fact, you owe your next prospective partner the time it takes for you to move on. If you find that your new partner bad mouths her ex often, be wary as she may not be ready for a relationship.
No Healthy Friendships
Everyone needs friends, and nobody can be everything for another person. The idea that there is only one person who can be everything for you, and you for them, is a harmful belief. Make sure whoever you date has a healthy friend base and that you can meet them. Nothing sends up red flags like someone who can’t maintain friendships that last or won’t share that part of his life with you.
Everyone says money doesn’t matter, but it does, at least a little. If you or your partner is unemployed, it can be a real strain on the relationship. If you’re simply dating, it might be enough of a red flag to end or postpone the relationship. Unemployment is sometimes indicative of a lack of ambition, laziness and bleak world view, which may be too difficult to sustain long term.