We all know how important compatibility is in growing relationships; some might even argue it’s the most important factor in building a successful partnership. But how many times have we heard things like, “They’re really nice, but there was no chemistry…” The chemistry between two people is impossible to measure, hard to define, but can be just as important as compatibility in a couple’s success. So how do you measure something so intangible before really committing? Here are some subtle signs to help you know if you’ve got it…
Initial Signs of Chemistry During a Date
1. You Don’t Know What to Do With Yourself. If you find yourself fidgeting, playing with your hair, rubbing your own arm etc., it’s a good sign you feel chemistry towards the other person. When attraction begins, we tend to get over-stimulated, which in-turn creates a need for us to release excess energy by self-grooming. It’s also a common theory that when we do something like rub our own arm we’re acting out a subconscious desire to reach out and touch the other person.
2. You’re More Agreeable. If you find yourself agreeing to see a movie you’d never otherwise watch, or sharing food you’d never otherwise eat, you’re probably feeling chemistry. You’re willing to forgo your usual restrictions because it keeps things positive and allows you to experience more of the other person.
3. You’re a Jitterbug. When you’re feeling chemistry towards someone, it’s normal to be a bit clutzy, jittery, and uncoordinated. This is mainly due to an elevation of norepinephrine in your body, a result of the chemistry felt between two people.
4. You Notice Everything. When there’s real chemistry, the body’s dopamine levels increase, which leads to a type of attachment called imprinting (discovered by German ethologist and Nobel Prize winner Niko Tinbergen). Imprinting makes you focus clearly on this one person very clearly, allowing you to observe even the tiniest of details about them.
5. You Feel Like You Already Know Them. There’s a big difference between lust and chemistry. When chemistry is involved, it’s common to feel some sort of familiarity (not boredom), as if you’ve known this person before. What’s usually going on behind the scenes (in your brain), is that certain qualities in this person are similar to the qualities of our caretakers as children. This could be something like a certain type of humour reminding you of your father. These instances of intense and pleasing familiarity trigger the release of dopamine in our brains.
Join us at one our events. You will meet lots of singles and there will be many opportunities for you to see if you do have chemistry with one or several people!