The first couple of dates we have with someone are usually the ones where we decide whether or not to pursue something more serious. Chances are, you know if you’re attracted to someone physically within the first few seconds of meeting them, but after that it’s important to get a sense of what’s in their heart and mind so you can make a rational choice as to whether you’d like to spend more time with them or not. Asking the right questions isn’t always the easiest thing to do during a first date though – when we’re nervous our thought process is not always the most clear, and we can find ourselves wishing we’d asked smarter things after the fact. So, with a little preparation, we can go into our dates with a clear idea of what we’d like to know, and get the answers we’re looking for.
5 Smart Questions to Ask on a First Date
1. How did you get into your line of work? The answer to this question is extremely telling. You should be able to tell if the person has a sincere passion about their work, how ambitious they are, or whether or not they’re the type of person to stay in a job they don’t like and never get out of it. How a person relates to their work is usually a tell-tale sign of how they relate to their life as well.
2. Cats or Dogs? It may seem trivial on the surface, but considering how adamant people can be about their love for one or the other, this could be an important point. Not everyone is willing to share their life with an animal they don’t really like, some people are allergic, and there can be definite differing personality traits between dog lovers and cat lovers.
3. What was your last relationship like? This might be better left to the second or third date, but it’s definitely a question that will tell you a lot about a person. By having someone share their experience, you can gauge to a certain extent how they handle talking about emotional situations, how they actually handled the situation, if they harbour residual love/hate towards their ex, and if they have learned/grown from the relationship in general.
4. What do your parents do? It isn’t really important what their parents’ jobs are, but this is a question that can get someone talking about their family. The deeper we delve into someone’s family life, and also their parents’ relationship, the more we see how their family experience shaped them. Are they a Mama’s boy or Daddy’s little princess? Is there a lot of dysfunction within the family unit or do they get along well?
5. What do you do for enjoyment? If you’re the type of person who loves adventure, it may not be terribly wise to date someone who’s idea of a hobby is watching television. Common interests are important, but more than the specifics, it’s the level of adventure vs. stability which may hinder a romance. Of course having an open mind to both is the ideal situation, and most things can be worked out through compromise.