If you’re among the 75% of participants who got a match at a 25dates.com speed dating event, congrats! Now comes the all-important test: the first date with your match. Of course, you’ve already got that awkward first encounter out of the way thanks to the easy and comfortable environment of the speed dating event, but the first full date still looms. If you want to increase your chances of securing a second date, you’re going to get a lot of advice about what you should say and how you should act. But what about the words and topics you should avoid?
- Hate. This is a new opportunity full of joy and positivity, so try not to infuse your speech with too many phrases like “I hate beer” or “traffic is the worst.” Of course you should be yourself, but you also want to make a good first impression. Even if you both end up bonding over sarcasm and snark, cool it on the negative words on date one. You might come off as grumpy and judgmental.
- Ex. This should go without saying, but under no circumstances should you talk about your ex on a first date! If the conversation heads there or your date asks a specific question, kindly answer and then redirect the topic elsewhere. You should be happy and comfortable to discuss your past experiences, but remember you’re moving toward a new love.
- OK. Nothing is a conversation killer quite like “OK.” You have to play your part in the conversation, and don’t rely on your date to do all the heavy lifting. “How was your day?” needs a more descriptive answer than “OK.” If you’re asked a question like “do you want to go out for drinks?” or “do you want to come back to my place?” “OK” shows passivity or ambivalence. If you really want to go, show enthusiasm and make sure you’re clear. If you aren’t ready, say so.
- Bitch. This applies to both men and women. If you’re a woman and refer to others with this word, you might come off as catty and mean. A guy might come off as rude and misogynistic. Show respect and avoid words like this that don’t give the best impression.
- Mom. Sure, you can talk about your parents on a first date. They play an important role in your life, and your date is curious to learn where you come from. However, if every sentence includes you talking about your mom, it might give your date some major red flags. They’ll be wondering if you have any room if your life for a new love!
All of these words also apply at speed dating events. You don’t have a long time to make a match, so the last thing you want to do is say a word that puts you in the mismatch column. Be yourself, but also be conscious that some words can be turn-offs for your date.
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