Have you ever noticed how a brand new relationship can make you feel excited, but can also be nerve-racking? Meeting someone new that you could potentially fall in love with can bring with it hopes, fears, expectations, surprises and that wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling. But with all those emotions swirling around, we might also admit it’s possible we don’t exactly see things as clearly as we should. We always want them to be “the one” and for it to work out, and it’s not always easy to come to terms with the fact that they’re not…
Signs You May Be in Relationship Denial
1. “If Only”. When you find yourself talking or thinking about your relationship, those thoughts or expressions often end with, “If only…” This is similar to dating someone’s potential instead of dating the person who’s actually right in front of you. Wishing for, or even banking on a major change in behaviour, personality or circumstance and thinking once this happens everything will be perfect, is a sign of denial.
2. You’re Not Yourself. If you find yourself consistently trying to control your own actions, words, and appearance to appease your mate, and you can’t completely relax, this is a warning sign that something’s off. It could mean your insecurities are very heightened and you feel you’re not good enough the way you are to be in this relationship. The problem is, sooner or later the real you will have to come out, which might confuse your mate. Beginning a relationship on the basis lying about who you are will never turn out the way you want it to.
3. Lack of Integration. When you feel uncomfortable integrating your new partner in your life, whether it be with family or friends because you fear being judged negatively, it’s a big sign that things are probably not going as well as they should. When you’re the only one who understands why you’re with your partner, it’s quite often a signal that you know something’s not as it should be deep down. Not being proud or confident enough to share your partner with the people you’re closest with means you may feel deep down you have something to hide.
4. Loneliness Dictates. Nobody likes to feel alone – but using a relationship to fill that emptiness really changes your relationship standards. When we let ourselves engage in a relationship that doesn’t make us happy just so we don’t have to be alone, we’re cheating ourselves and the person we’re with. We must learn to be comfortable on our own, knowing the right person will be available to us when we’re open and ready for it.