Tips for Getting Back in the Dating Game

It can be daunting to get back into the dating game, whether it’s after a divorce, the break-up of a serious relationship, or even after a self-imposed dating hiatus. To think of ourselves as individuals after having been part of a couple for a prolonged period of time, can cause us some anxiety as we learn to re-define our selves.
We tend to ask ourselves questions like, Who am I? Will anyone find me interesting? What if people judge me by my “baggage”? etc. Ever heard the expressions, “Fake it till you make it”, or “Practice makes perfect”? These sayings can definitely be applied to us when we’re entering back into the dating world, and coupled with the following tips, you’ll be ready to go!

Tips for Getting Back in the Dating Game

1. Get in the right frame of mind. Being positive and committed to dating is extremely important, especially when you want to attract like-minded individuals. Be prepared for the inevitable rejection that may happen (after all not everyone will be able to see how wonderful you are – that’s part of life), and really think first about what you want to get out of dating, whether it’s something casual, or looking for a spouse. Being clear in your mind will make it that much easier for you to attract and find the type of person that’s right for you.

2. Look and feel your best. It would be great if we could all be judged only on our personality, but that’s simply not realistic in the arena of human nature. Have you updated your look, or are you still wearing clothes from when you were single the first time? Get a new haircut, update the wardrobe, go to the gym, and really try to look and feel your best. This will not only affect your appearance, but more importantly will affect your self-confidence and put a spring in your step which others will find attractive.

3. Meet and spend time with other single friends. Spending time with your married friends, or friends who are jaded and not actively looking for a relationship will not help your cause. By spending time with like-minded friends, you’ll increase your odds of meeting potential love interests through activities and interests that you all share.

4. Be realistic – choose people you have a chance with. You’ll be presenting a whole package, not just your personality. If you want to date a gorgeous, highly successful and intelligent person, realize those people will be expecting to date those similar to themselves.

5. Don’t be overly available. Part of the dating game is having a bit of mystery to your personality. If you’re constantly available for people, you risk the chance they may start to take you for granted.

6. Take a break if you need to. Sometimes we’re so intent on finding a partner we can overdo it, and get a case of dating fatigue. We never want to come across as desperate, nor do we want to lower our standards because we’re not having much luck. If you’re not having luck, put the focus back on yourself and recharge your
batteries. You’ll be in a much better frame of mind to attract what’s good for you when you feel refreshed.

7. Enjoy yourself! Remember dating is about having fun, meeting people, sharing experiences and learning about yourself. Putting pressure and timelines on yourself for finding a mate will most likely have the opposite result you’re looking for.

Ragna Stamm'ler-Adamson