We all know that being in love can put us on top of the world, but what happens when we love someone and our affections aren’t returned? Unrequited love can be one of the most painfully confusing relationship issues we go through. It can be all-consuming, disappointing – even devastating, and 100% unhealthy. Trying to understand why someone doesn’t feel the same way we do when our feelings are so strong can result in a sort of emotional paralysis, stopping us from moving forward with our lives. But even when there seems to be no relief in sight, there are steps we can take to conquer the situation and take control.
Tips for Getting Over Unrequited Love
1. Accept it. Holding out hope for a hopeless situation is where the paralysis comes in, preventing you from moving forward. When someone likes you, they show it. Stop making excuses as to why this person isn’t showing you they have feelings – the fact is they don’t. Until you accept this fact you will stay in exactly the same rut.
2. Dissolve the illusion. Often we project our own idea of who someone is onto the situation, without really having truly experienced them. We imagine them to be everything we want, making their unattainability that much more frustrating and obsessive. The fact is, if they were the person for you, they’d be with you.
3. Remove the evidence. If you’re constantly Facebook stalking them, reading over old emails, imagining past conversations, and showing up where they might be, you will NEVER move on. You must break the connection and begin to imagine your life without them as a primary focus. Treat this as you would any other addiction, and stop feeding it.
4. Keep busy. Distractions are exactly what you need. Increase your social life – go out with friends, go see a movie, spend time with family, start a new hobby, go speed dating! Any time spent where you’re not thinking about this person will strengthen you and your resolve to move on, not to mention increase your opportunities to meet new potential partners.
5. Don’t take it personally. Just because someone isn’t interested in a romantic relationship with you, doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person. There could be many reasons why they’re not interested, and usually all of them have absolutely nothing to do with you!
6. See the big picture. We never seem to realize that the right person could be just around the corner. Realize there’s a reason this situation is not working out the way you think you want it to – it’s not supposed to. We can’t force life to happen, and we have to make the best personal choices for ourselves that make us feel good. Love is not supposed to make us feel badly, ever.