Whether we like to admit it or not, we judge other people’s homes, for better or for worse. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you’re dating someone new, you can learn a lot about them from their home—their style and taste and preferences, how organized they are, how clean they like for their environment to be, whether the like to cook, how they prefer to spend their money.
Here are a few things your dates will notice about your living situation.
Whether you live with your parents
A 2018 survey showed that more than 83% of women say that they would not date a partner who lives with their parents, and 63% of men say the same. While living with your parents seems to be a pretty big deal breaker for both men and women, everyone appears to be more accepting of a roommate situation. The same survey found that for only 20% of women and 39% of men, a date who lives with a roommate is a deal breaker.
While the survey did not discuss the ages of the respondents, it’s possible that age of the dating couple would factor into whether this is a turn-off or not.
How you decorate
The same 2018 survey also uncovered turn-ons and turn-offs when it comes to how we decorate our homes. Both men and women share many of the same turn-offs when it comes to our date’s decor, like having guns or alcohol on display or having a junky home.
The differences? Women say they would raise an eyebrow to a date who displays Disney paraphernalia, and men would do the same for a date who keeps a small pet like a hamster or gerbil.
Fresh home tech
Technology and a date’s access to it—or perhaps how they show it off—doesn’t go unnoticed when a date is in your home.
According to a survey by Match.com, 61% of singles say they are “turned on” if you have an Alexa or Google Home. The same survey also found that for women, stealing the neighbor’s internet, or not having internet or a computer at all is a potential red flag. Like living with parents or neighbors, this turn turn-off could be a result of perceived lack of independence, and financial responsibility.
What you read
An Australian media company asked its readers what they first notice about a date’s home, and the answers run the gamut, but there certainly were some interesting responses.
One reader said she pays attention to what is on a date’s bookshelf: “I secretly judge a date on the type of reading material they have in their house. No books is a bad sign, but nothing but Lance Armstrong or Donald Trump’s autobiography? Just as dire. I want to see a copy of Snow Falling on Cedars on his bedside table, not a well-thumbed edition of Sports Illustrated‘s swimsuit edition.”
What they judge, for better or for worse
While there may be commonalities when it comes to what people judge about your home while on a date, the good news is that what is a dealbreaker for some is not necessarily a dealbreaker for all. And because we would want our dates to keep an open mind, we owe the same to them.
If you are bothered that a date lives with a roommate, you might ask why and find out he or she is saving for a house of their own. If a book title throws you for a loop, bring it up—it might just be their roommate’s.