I Wanna Hold Your Hand
by Robin McGrath
We have all heard the expression, "actions speak louder than words". Kinesics, also known as body language, contributes to more than 55% of our communication. Our body language - our actions - tell others a lot more than our words can about how we are feeling. This is especially true within relationships. How we touch our friends, our family, and our lovers can speak volumes to them - much more than libraries full of beautiful, romantic poetry and prose.
One of these actions can be the way we hold hands with our romantic partners.
Hand holding does not only signal publicly that we are taken, it also conveys to the world how we feel about our partners. And it can be a very intimate public display of affection speaking a silent and private language of love between two people in any situation, whether it be behind closed doors or in the midst of thousands at public venues.
So, what are we telling the world about how we feel about our partner and relationship by the way we hold his or her hand?
Three basic ways we hold hands are as follows, and each one conveys different information:
1. Palm Facing
2. Intertwined Fingers
3. Loosely Connected
The way in which your palm is facing indicates whether you or your partner is being more dominant at the moment. You are feeling and being more dominant if your palm is facing down and your wrist is crossing in front of your partner's. The opposite is true if your palm is facing up. And if your palm is facing towards your body, in the same manner as your partner's, then you are both feeling equally dominant.
Intertwined fingers indicate a feeling of physical and emotional connection.
You feel less physically and emotionally connected to your partner if your hands are loosely connected. This can include holding each other's hands with only one or a few fingers.
The secret language that lovers can share while holding hands can express any number of messages. It can express:
Comfort, protection and safety using a solid, sturdy yet gentle hand hold,
"I love you" or "I like you", also using a solid, sturdy yet gentle hand hold,
Playfulness using various techniques such as gently pinching palms, fingers and finger tips,
Seduction by caressing or massaging the other's hand,
Any number of other messages using a morse-code like squeezing of each other's hands based upon a previously discussed and agreed upon message and response.
Show your sweetheart how you feel about him or her. Share a secret language with your lover. Hold hands.