What Women Want From Men
Women are a complex gender. We can be multi-taskers, nurturers, expressers, romantics, and tough as nails - all at the same time. It's no wonder men can have a difficult time finding their way around what a woman wants; a woman is an emotional being with a very practical side, and in today's day and age, struggling to find her place in a world that no longer has clearly defined roles for men and women. On the one hand a woman wants to be with a man who makes them feel taken care of, and on the other hand she needs to still feel independent. How can these two seemingly paradoxical concepts even exist within the same brain? That's part of what being a woman is all about.
What Women Want From Men
1. Call it evolution or socialization - call it whatever you want - but a women wants a man who exerts a certain amount of confidence. She's looking for someone on whom she can depend both physically and emotionally - but only when she feels she needs to. If you are too doting, forget it - if you don't appreciate her enough, she will notice. If you are too cocky, it'll get old really fast.
2. In order to know when a woman needs what, you need to understand how to listen to her. Have you ever heard two women carry on a conversation? It may seem almost one-sided from an outsider's perspective, but there's a very distinct and important Talker/Listener dynamic going on. The talker is explaining and sharing something emotional she wants to get off her chest. The listener is listening, without judgement, and really offering no advice while the talker talks. There's a lot of, "Really?", "Oh my god - he DIDN'T", "Oh you poor thing!" going on - this is simply the way women validate each others' experiences and feelings. Often times women just want to vent. We're not looking for a solution (we probably already have 20 of them planned out in our heads), we just want to share our feelings. Men tend to see women sharing as asking for help. If women want your help or opinion on a matter, they will usually ask you for it.
3. Women want someone who is good with their friends. Women value their friends' opinions just as much as men do and if her friends disapprove of you, it's not going to be smooth sailing.
Find a way to co-exist with a woman's friends, and you'll find your support network grows and their support of your relationship will grow too. It's also important to make sure you know the "real" deal when it comes to whomever you're dating, and seeing them interact with their close friends is a great way to get to really know someone.
4. Women want someone with goals and ambition. Even though they are quite capable of earning and care-taking and all of the above, why would they want that? A woman wants a man who knows who he is and isn't afraid to go after what he wants.
5. Women want spontaneous affection and some romance. We all want to be appreciated as human beings and it means a great deal to a woman to have her man call her out of the blue or surprise her with flowers or a dinner or a card - anything - just to show her he's thinking of her on his own.
6. Women want to trust men, and in order to be able to trust a man a woman will look to whether his actions line up with his words. If a man doesn't follow through on what he says he's going to do, trust will simply never exist. When a woman can't trust a man, she fears the uncertainty that this fact can bring into her life. Often, when women nag, or accuse or try to catch a man in a lie, chances are she's scared that she can't trust him.
Women - let us know what you want from men!
I just want my boyfriend to speak to me more, he always says that he gets bored easily and he also told me that he feels selfish when he is with me cause he should be with his mates, what do I say to that? He told me that he wants to spend more time with me doing things but yet he won't change. I never stop him from doing things so it's not like it's me who is doing this! He says he wants be single but yet he wants to try and make the relationship work! I am so confused!
Get rid of him CJ! If a guy is interested in you he will not be bored with you, and he will want to see you and not even give his mates a second thought. He says he wants to be single. That's your answer right there. Sorry sweety but you deserve to know what it feels like to have a guy who is actually into you. If you stay with this dude you will not know that. Let him be single and you get on with other things. Good Luck!!
Read up on some relationship psychology - I highly advise "why men love bitches" or dating without drama as books to read. If a guy isn't into you usually its because of him, and the relationship dynamic created due to having things too easy (he knows he can have his cake and eat it too). Date other people! And be single, and you will find someone better, who will be so into you, you will forget this guy.
I think this article has many valuable points and is worth reading. I'm friends with a wonderful guy who's definitely guilty of some of the aforementioned faux-pas' who could definitely use this advice. From a female perspective, these are definitely facts men need to know.
I been with my boyfriend for 3 yrears. When I first met him things were great, until I caught him in a lie. After that I wanted nothing to do with him. He wouldn't let me let him go. So I figured I'd take him back and do whatever it took to have him break up with me. YET he didn't. I stopped being a bitch once we hit our 1st year, but then he started to become an asshole. I figured I'ld let it be since I had put him through hell, all the while reminding him that it hurt me. He had his share of lovey dovey moments but for the most part he's become crazy. Now he's a cop and with that new boost of ego things have gotten so bad that I broke up with him. It's been 2 weeks now. He keeps calling me and texting me, telling me that I don't love him, but I do! I just cant tolerate the mental and emotional abuse he's put me through. What should I do?
I think most women just want to be reassured that her man won't cheat on her. Don't try to hide anything and she won't accuse you of having something to hide.
I think the trust issue is a key to a happy relationship. When a man doesn't show integrity and pays lip service with no action, I completely lose trust.