Last week, our article on Why Some Women Remain Single
, inspired many comments from our female readers. As outlined in that article, we were shedding light on some of the psychological reasons why some women, who don't want to be single, are. Many of our readers are quite content to be single - it fits into their lifestyle, and is a personal choice and preference. This series of articles however, is intended for those (men and women) who wonder why they remain single; those who perhaps crave some outside perspective in order to create the necessary changes required to achieve their relationship goals.
Part Two - Why Some Men Remain Single
1. Career. Although career is extremely important to many women these days, it's men's self-worth that can be very tied up in their financial status and career goals. While women will often make time for a relationship and see it as a priority which can be balanced in their lives at any time, men are more apt to focus on one specific thing at time, like their career. Because it usually takes men longer to get emotionally attached than it does women, men can more easily decide to focus on their career while their relationships won't be seen as a priority. This is not easy for women to understand or accept, especially for extended periods of time, therefor, many women are unwilling to stay with a man whose priorities are ordered in such a way.
2. The pack mentality. Some mens' lives are very involved and intertwined with those of their buddies. Men (especially young men) can be more inclined to seek approval from their peers, and can also hold the opinions of those friends in very high regard. If a man's group of friends are all single, he will be less inclined to develop a serious relationship, which could potentially alienate him from his core group.
3. Fear of intimacy. Men are socialized differently than women. They are on the whole, brought up to appear strong at all costs, and not share their feelings. To have a successful, healthy relationship in this day and age, communication is a huge necessity, and many men simply lack proper relationship communication skills. Women desire a man who makes her feel emotionally safe, and in order to feel that safety, she needs to know what's going on inside of her mate's heart. Many men find themselves alone after not being able to properly express themselves.
4. The Nice-Guy Syndrome. They say nice guys finish last, and it's partially true. Men often find themselves bewildered at how a woman could choose a "bad-boy", a man who doesn't have much regard for women, or treat them well, over a man who could be there for them in every way. What some men don't understand, is it's his confidence women are attracted to. Women can mistake a bad-boy's arrogance and detachment for confidence, especially if the alternative is a man who is passive, and who doesn't take enough initiative in the early stages of dating.